Meaningful Connections

As someone who identifies with the Type 2, the very first negative experience I was aware of after the request to shelter in place was how I felt disconnected from those I loved. Although several family members live close by, others do not. Of my five best girlfriends, only two are local. These are my most meaningful connections. Traveling to spend time with them was part of my life. 

The initial guidelines suggested physical distancing from local family unless they quarantined, and you did too. I was also aware I did not miss being with people in general; but my heart actually ached for those who held meaning. Unable to touch and not be with them face to face in real time, was creating great and mounting distress. My heart center was off line. I experienced sadness, distress and despair not knowing when and how I would reconnect in the ways I was missing each of them. 

I was grateful to have a husband I enjoy living with. It made life a lot easier. He sees himself as a type 7 and is a very loving man. We share our Love Languages with one another. The way we express them and appreciate receiving them helped us immensely. 

We discussed how we each experienced our disconnection with others. Although we had different experiences, we were present to one another and attempted as best we could to understand. Asking each other questions from a place of curiosity allowed us to deepen our acceptance and tolerance of one another.  

We then chose to engage in a ritual each evening that really helped. We regularly hold one another each evening, sometimes speaking and sometimes in silence before we go to sleep. Having done this since we were first married, this intimate connection time was already a part of our bedtime routine. We added two-parts to our bedtime routine, and it is now our new ritual. The first part was to express prayers out loud for those we knew are suffering. If the person was a friend of ours, we made time for each to share a thought or prayer. After this part we would take a deep breath or two before moving into the second final part.

The second part was to express gratitude for what each day brought our way. Some evenings the list was brief. At other times, we would have a lengthy list and sometimes build on what the other had appreciated. This part always ended and ends with to this day that we are grateful for one another.